Baby Rabbit

2017-07-08 15:32:38 -0400  

Seen about town today…

  • A car with North Dakota plates

  • A cottonwood tree about four feet tall, growing out of the pavement

  • Two young women furiously making out in a parked car

  • A man trying to hold very still, taking a photo of a baby rabbit frozen on the grass, while his dog strained at the leash

Strange Exercise

2017-06-30 15:32:38 -0400  

Seen about town today…

  • Gentlemen pitching pennies on Main Street

  • A very new-looking, upscale pickup truck with a roof-mounted Domino’s sign,

  • A fellow wearing a banana hammock doing jumping jacks in front of a picture window,

  • A house with twenty US flags out front, all ready for Independence Day,

  • A lawn sign reading “Keep off grass until dry” (it’s rained every day for a fortnight).


2017-06-21 15:32:38 -0400  

Seen about town today…

  • A man walking around with an orange tabby cat perched on his shoulder like a parrot (if you live in Burlington you probably know who I’m talking about)

  • A man pushing a woman in a shopping cart

Proper Gardening Attire

2017-06-03 15:32:38 -0400  

Seen about town today…

  • Passing by the community garden early this afternoon, I saw a man on his knees, digging and planting. He was being supervised and, it seems, lectured by a young girl, maybe six or seven, in a geranium-colored tutu.

(for Joan Solomon Frank)

Mortal Combat

2017-05-19 15:32:38 -0400  

Seen about town today…

  • Walking downtown, I saw two sparrows on the sidewalk, locked in mortal combat—beaks, claws, the works. A real tussle. I told them to knock it off and they flew away.


2017-05-18 15:32:38 -0400  

Seen about town today…

  • Raindrops the size of grapes

Detroit Lions

2016-12-06 22:32:38 -0400  

Seen about town today…

  • Woman in her mid- to late-30s wearing a pinafore. Yes, a real, bonafide pinafore, over her dress.

  • A homeless fellow, chanting “I’m going to be here a BIT. I’m going to be here a BIT. I’m going to be here a BIT.”

  • A fellow wearing a Detroit Lions hat and a Detroit Lions jersey, with a Detroit Lions tattoo on his neck.

A Musical Day

2016-10-01 22:32:38 -0400  

Seen (and heard) about town today…

  • I had to do a double-take while driving. At first, I was certain Tom Hulce was tailgating me in his Mozart wig.

  • A fellow in a fishing hat and plaid backpack stumbled out of a store on College Street singing “La donna è mobile” from Rigoletto.

  • A wizened old guy drove by on Winooski Street in a tan Prius. He was 80 if he was a day. Windows down, Rage Against the Machine cranked all the way up, playing “Bulls on Parade.” The old guy was shaking his head in time.

Mavis and the Lottery

2016-09-21 15:32:38 -0400  

Seen about town today…

  • A three-year-old named “Mavis”. She almost ran over my foot with her tricycle. “Mavis” is one I haven’t heard in a while.

  • A man with a radiant smile. He looked me straight in the eye, and threw the remains of a shredded scratch-off lottery ticket on the sidewalk.


2016-08-21 15:32:38 -0400  

At the farmer’s market in City Hall Park.

Woman in crowd (60-ish, with NY accent): You smell like soy sauce.
Me: I'm afraid you're mistaken. You're smelling the Tibetan momo stand over there.
W: Oh, I suppose you're right. Sorry.
M: This place is a cacophony of smells, there's maple-flavored everything, and sausages grilling—I even got a whiff of weed just a moment ago.
W (suddenly lights up; looking around): Oh really? Where? Over there on the lawn?
M: Yeah, I think so.

Woman scoots off. I shake my head. Tourists.